


What Do You Give The Man Who Has Everything?

by eightofcoins



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/M, Happy Birthday, Humor, Serious Business, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-11
Updated: 2012-02-11
Packaged: 2017-10-30 23:22:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eightofcoins/pseuds/eightofcoins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The IT throws a surprise birthday party for Souji, only to find Ai sitting on his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Give The Man Who Has Everything?

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt**   
> _The Investigation Team (and any other loved ones) want to throw a surprise party for Souji's birthday._
> 
> _They go into his room and find..._
> 
> _Ai sitting on his face, yelling out very dirty things._
> 
> <http://badx2bathhouse.livejournal.com/543.html?thread=1055#t1055>

“Yosuke-senpai, I believe the traditional method is to wait for the guest of honor to arrive home.”  
  
“Naoto, if we did that, who knows how long we’ll be waiting? You know how many jobs he has.”  
  
“That’s right! But thanks to our cute little spy, we know that Senpai is home right now!” Rise said as she ruffled Nanako’s hair playfully.  
  
“When I came home, Big Bro said he was going to take a nap, so he’s in his room now,” Nanako said sweetly.  
  
“Before we barge in, we should make sure we have everything,” suggested Yukiko as the entire Investigation Team, plus Nanako and Dojima-san, were gathered in the kitchen of the Dojima residence.  
  
“I don’t think we need to be so formal, Yukiko,” said Chie.  
  
“Preparation is important for a properly planned event,” Yukiko replied firmly. “That’s how we do it at the Inn. First, cake?”  
  
“Got it,” said Yosuke.  
  
“Plates and utensils?”  
  
“All present and accounted for,” confirmed Naoto.  
  
“Poppers and party horns?”  
  
“Check! This is gonna be so much fun!” squealed Teddie.  
  
“Balloons?”  
  
“Mm-hmm!” murmured an excited Nanako.  
  
“Gifts?”  
  
“Oh yeah, plenty,” said Kanji from behind a stack of colorfully wrapped boxes in his hands. “I sure hope Senpai likes what I made him.”  
  
“I’m sure he will, Kanji! And I really hope he’ll love the present I’m gonna give him later,” said Rise, who undid one more button on her blouse.  
  
“Who has the camera?” asked Yukiko.  
  
“I do!” said Chie, waving an expensive digital camera above her head.  
  
“Hey, careful with that, I gotta return that to the electronics department later,” groaned Yosuke.  
  
“I’d say your elite team has everything under control, Yukiko-san,” Dojima said warmly. “I’m sure Souji is going to be really happy about this party.”  
  
“I’m sure he will. Everyone, get your things and let’s head up!” ordered Yukiko.  
  
\---  
  
As they tiptoed up the stairs, all of them anxious to surprise Souji, they could hear heavy breathing and a woman’s voice from his room. He must have been just watching some TV, so they didn’t feel bad that they were about to wake him up.  
  
“Alright,” whispered Dojima as he wrapped his hand around the doorknob. “On three. One, two, three--”  
  
The door was flung open and the group burst into the bedroom. “Happy Birth--!”  
  
“Lick my cunt, you little bitch! Lick-- _Oh my god!_ ”  
  
At first, aside from 10 dropped jaws, no one made a move as everyone began to process the scene. The Investigation Team and Dojima and Nanako had all entered Souji’s room to find him naked, flat on his back on his futon, and his arms handcuffed at the wrists above his head and around a table leg.  
  
Ai Ebihara was also in the room.  
  
An Ai Ebihara who was straddling his face while wearing nothing but a wicked smile and a sheen of sweat.  
  
An Ai Ebihara who was apparently trying to suffocate Souji with her sopping wet pussy, which was being forcefully ground against his mouth and nose.  
  
An Ai Ebihara who was forcefully grabbing Souji’s hair with one hand while the other reached back and wrapped tightly around his throbbing erection, where a perfect bead of clear precum gleamed on its tip.  
  
An Ai Ebihara who had called Souji a little bitch and pointedly asked him to perform cunnilingus just as his closest friends and family had just entered the room.  
  
An Ai Ebihara who screamed and tried to cover herself as best she could with her hands, one over her perky breasts and the other hiding her hairless pussy.  
  
Thanks to his police training, Dojima was the first to act. He instantly clamped a hand over Nanako’s eyes, swiveled himself and his daughter 180 degrees, and briskly walked out of the room without a word. Dojima thought to himself that he needed to have a serious talk with Souji, about using police equipment without his permission.  
  
The silence was broken as Chie’s finger twitched involuntarily on the camera’s shutter button and the camera flashed and clicked, capturing a very embarrassed Ai and a very aroused Souji in memory.  
  
Yukiko suddenly found her shoes to be utterly fascinating to look at and Naoto just pulled the brim of her cap over her eyes.  
  
Yosuke began to drool, and not because the most expensive cake from the Junes baked goods department was in his hands. He made a mental note to carefully inspect the camera when he got it back from Chie and to buy more ink for his photo printer.  
  
Steam nearly shot out of Rise’s ears as she tried to stare a hole in Ai’s head, and Kanji had to use his considerable strength to physically restrain her from trying to use her hands to speed up the process.  
  
“Did Sensei just score?”  
  
Ai awkwardly slid off of Souji’s face and buried herself completely under a blanket. Seven pairs of eyes focussed upon Souji’s naked and bound body. Now that he could breath again, Souji knew he had to take control of the situation. After all, he was their Leader. Calmness and confidence were key.  
  
“Uh... Who wants cake?”  
  
\---  
  
Later, as everyone (including a still-blushing Ai) gathered around the living room table to enjoy some delicious cake and celebrate Souji’s birthday, Nanako sidled up to her Big Bro.  
  
“Big Bro, can I ask you a question?”  
  
“Sure, Nanako-chan, what is it?”  
  
“Big Bro, what’s a cunt?”  
  
“Yes, Souji, do explain to my seven-year-old daughter,” Dojima said with a dangerous tone in his voice.  
  
“Um, a... a cunt is a present that girls give to boys they like,” answered Souji, who was rewarded with a swift punch to the shoulder from Ai.  
  
“Oh. Can you eat it?”  
  
“Um... yes, it’s tasty.”  
  
Naoto uncharacteristically doubled over in hysterical laughter as the rest of the Investigation Team snickered at their leader’s explanation.  
  
“Do you like cunts, Big Bro?”  
  
“Um... yes,” replied Souji, trying to avoid the death glare his uncle was giving him.  
  
Nanako nodded and considered all the information she had gathered.  
  
“Big Bro, where can I get a cunt to give you?”  
  
Souji instinctively knew that his life depended on the answer he gave.  
  
“D-Don’t worry about it Nanako-chan, I’m pretty well stocked up for now. Now how about some more cake?”  
  
“Okay...”  
  
As Nanako was led by her father back to the refreshments table, Ai went up to her boyfriend and whispered into his ear.  
  
“You won’t be so well stocked up if you keep forgetting to lock the goddamn door, idiot! Next year, we’re celebrating your birthday at my house.”  
  
 _Fin_


End file.
